Boynton Beach Ale House

Located at Gateway & congress, this used to be a favorite hangout for depressed Motorola employees and those of us who liked to visit them and taunt them. Now Motorola is gone. This toilet is clean and friendly, offering relative privacy. Good handicrapping facilities make this a good stop along the way. Make sure to have the grouper sandwich while you are at it.

User Friendliness = 3.5
Cleanliness = 3
Privacy = 3.5
Facilities = 3
Overall Rating = 3.5

Sloan's (Clematis Street)

This is one of the coolest toilets around and thanks to us it was even featured on the Travel Channel. Built for single occupancy, this eclectically decorated crapping vestibule is located at an extremely popular WPB ice cream and confectionary shop. However, long lines form to poop in this famous crapper due to its unusual privacy technology. Somehow, when you unlock the door, you can see right through the full-length windows for a full view of the entire room. When the door is closed and locked, all visibility is cut off seemingly magically. This is a CQ must see. Read More>

User Friendliness = 4
Cleanliness = 5
Privacy = 5
Facilities = 5
Overall Rating = 5

O'Sheas (Clematis Street)

CQ's #1 Place to crap on Clematis! One of Clematis Street's better crappers, its biggest benefit is that it is rarely occupied. That and it is located across the street from Respectables, which is our favorite club and least favorite crapper. This crapper is usually clean and has plenty of room and facilities for handicrapping. The door, although it hits the urinal when open, has a good gap coefficient and a good lock.

User Friendliness = 4
Cleanliness = 3
Privacy = 4
Facilities = 3
Overall Rating = 3.5

Respectable Street Cafe (Clematis Street)


This place is not a cafe as its name may lead you to believe, but a thumping alternative 80's new wave weirdo hangout. New tile and wall coverings and all new toilets were present . However, there is still no door and no TP holder. It was much cleaner and will lose its coveted Yucky Urinal award. If you need to crap, you should still head to O'Sheas! This is still our favorite place to party!

Friend Wendy writes...
Regarding the men's restroom at Respectable Street Cafe in West Palm Beach - there was a remodel about one year ago, and as of last week, there were both a DOOR and TP on/in the stall! Plus, the walls have been painted, and
they're not plain old flat black. So much for the award!

User Friendliness = 1
Cleanliness = 1
Privacy = 0
Facilities = .5
Overall Rating = .5

Monkey Club (Clematis Street)

Lots of dancing in this place will make your bowels shake. Crapper is fundamentally sound and will do in a pinch. Only real negative is the presence of the evil bathroom attendant (-1 roll).

User Friendliness = 3
Cleanliness = 3
Privacy = 2.5
Facilities = 3
Overall Rating = 3

Ray's Downtown Blues Bar (Clematis Street)

This is a real toilet. No pun intended. There is no door seperating the crapper from the sink, poor lighting, and we found toilet sculptures leftover from previous crappers. Not the kind of place you would bring mom.

User Friendliness = 1.5
Cleanliness = 1.5
Privacy = 1
Facilities = 1.5
Overall Rating = 1.5

DAX (Clematis Street)

As you might be able to tell, this place is a real shithole. This combined with brain freeze from frozen drinks is a real buzz kill. There is literally no seat on the toilet, forcing desperate crappers to squat. Located down a looong corridor, this crapper had a terrible stench, was very dirty, had no privacy or any other redeeming feature. Sinks were trashed too. Party on Dax!

User Friendliness = 1
Cleanliness = 1
Privacy = 1
Facilities = 1
Overall Rating = 1

Roxy's (Clematis Street)

Would have scored higher were it not for the presence of the bathroom attendant. Overall, roomy, with handrails for handicrapping. Clean, two stalls with good doors and locks, ample TP and auto deodorizers. Clean sinks with paper towels. Not bad because after some greasy food and a few drafts, you'll need it.

User Friendliness = 3
Cleanliness = 3
Privacy = 2
Facilities = 3
Overall Rating = 2.5

The Lounge (Clematis Street)

High privacy rating because it is only one at a time, which also accounts for a low facilities offered score. Sure is roomy but limited facilities. Fancy red floor goes with overall decor. Make sure to flush twice because everyone waiting outside will know who didn't.

User Friendliness = 1.5
Cleanliness = 2
Privacy = 3
Facilities = 1.5
Overall Rating = 2

Florida Turnpike (West Palm Beach Service Plaza)

If someone had asked me if I would be crapping on the Turnpike last Wednesday, I would have laughed but since we were there we thought we would capture this important crapping destination for you. There were plenty of stalls for both regular and handicrapping. The facilities were relatively clean except for some splashes on the seats. The toilets came complete with the protective seat covers and automatic flushers--making for a hands-off experience. Gap coefficient on the stalls is inconsistent and usage is heavy so privacy fluctuates. All in all a safe place to crap.

User Friendliness = 3
Cleanliness = 3
Privacy = 3
Facilities = 3
Overall Rating = 3