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Random Reviews
We started this page to share some of the one off
random reviews that we have received from readers. We don't call
it Random for nothing. Enjoy.
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Random Reader Review: 101
Building (Taipei, Taiwan)
101 is the world's tallest
building (debatable) and as such should have some
nice facilities. I really liked the surroundings
(marble and dark wood [wood being synthetic of
course]). Overall very nice, privacy was well
desgined but at times it is full causing you to
hear other crappers. Taiwanese people (men at
least) often cough, dry hack, or clear their throats
which can get a little disgusting. However the
facilities are very nice overall.
UserFriendliness : 4
Cleanliness : 5
Privacy : 4
Facilities : 5
OverallScore : 5
Handicrapping : Yes
Attendant : No
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Random Reader Review: 24/7
Store (Abilene, KS)
There's cockroaches everywhere
and sh*t on all the stalls and piss all over their
toilet seat and floor!!
UserFriendliness : 0
Cleanliness : 0
Privacy : 0
Facilities : 1
OverallScore : 0
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Random Reader Review: Locke
School (Chicago, IL)
Poopie was on the wall of
the bathroom. So disgusting. After a week it turned
blackish and smelly.
UserFriendliness : 3
Cleanliness : 2
Privacy : 2
Facilities : 4
OverallScore : 4
Handicrapping : No
Attendant : No
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Camp Grounds at NASCAR
Race (Martinsville, VA)
 
I'd like to tell you about
what me and my friends refer to as the Jeff Gordon
Grab Bag. There is a hill at the race track in
Martinsville. People camp out there and enjoy
the whole weekend. Drinking, partying, grilling,
and one row of Porta-Potties, over a 1/4 of a
mile away. Well one night after some serious drinking
JB had to go, and I mean bad. The problem was
he was stupified with alcohol, and he couldn't
walk that far. So he did the next best thing...dropped
trough, held onto the side of his truck bed and
leaned back. He was 100 yards or so from our camp
site, so we didn't care. The next morning someone
thought enough of it to place a pile of paper
towels over it as a warning of a land mine. It
worked great...UNTIL night came and someone stepped
on it, slipped (reminder, we were on a large incline)
and got their Jeff Gordon shirt covered in poo.
Hence a hilarious story to tell, and the name
of it...The Jeff Gordon Grab Bag! (submitted
by CQ Reader)
User Friendliness = 2
Cleanliness = 1
Privacy = 0
Facilities = 0
Overall Rating = 1
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Hut (Philippines, Island
of Luzon)
i was on my way to a lovely
little resort in the philippines with my family,
when all of a sudden it hit me... you know, the
unstoppable force. unfortunately, we had an hour
or two to go before reaching our destination.
when i could hold it no longer i whispered to
my mommy (i was less than 10, and yet i remember
it so vividly) that i really had to go. so my
uncle stopped the car right in front of a grouping
of hut like homes in the middle of a bunch of
pineapple fields. i really wanted my mommy to
accompany me to ask the nice people if i, the
little white skinned girl which they will remember
forever (my dad is an american, i was there visiting
my mom's family) if i could kindly use their toilet,
if they had one. but, due to my mother's fear
of cats and the fact that there was a huge one
roaming about, my ninang had to take me. so, after
asking the lady i hopped onto their very high
toilet. it was clean enough, considering the circumstances.
usually i would have assumed the squat position
but the damn thing was too high. so i lined it
with toilet paper, perched my "puet"
(tagalog for butt) on there and did my business.
when i thought the ordeal was finally over, i
went to flush but it didnt work. i faintly remembered
my mom and aunts telling me before we embarked
upon our fateful trip that if, anywhere in the
phils, the toilet doesnt flush, put water in it.
but i had no idea what the in the hell they were
talking about. so i did nothing (i would later
look back and realize that pouring water into
the bowl would manually flush it)so, the moral
of the story is when in a hut, and the damn thing
will not dispose of the evidence, use the nearest
"tabo" (a plastic bowl with a handel
used for washing the rear... found in every filipino
home, so dont worry... it will be there)and just
wash that poo away. but preferably, dont doo doo
in a hut. plus, if you're white, they will remember
you even more... you guys aren't common out there!
(submitted by CQ
Reader)
User Friendliness = 1
Cleanliness = 2
Privacy = 2
Facilities = 0
Overall Rating = 1
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The Roxy (Portland, OR)
Ew...just avoid it if you
can. (submitted by
CQ Reader)
User Friendliness = 1
Cleanliness = 0
Privacy = 2
Facilities = 1
Overall Rating = 1
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BJ's Shopping Club (La
Jolla, CA)
(submitted by CQ Reader)
User Friendliness = 2
Cleanliness = 2
Privacy = 4
Facilities = 3
Overall Rating = 2
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Trolley Square (Salt Lake
City, UT)
The restroom in the Trolley
Square mall in downtown Salt Lake City, Utah is
pretty much somewhere to be used for emergencies
only. I have stopped in here on occasion because
of an emergency situation that needed to be rectified,
only to discover that half of the toilets were
clogged up, had piss on the seats, or water on
the floor (probably from a clogged toilet). The
management obviously does not care about the cleanliness
of their restrooms here. There's not much in the
way or privacy either. Stay away unless you really
cannot wait. (submitted
by CQ Reader)
User Friendliness = 2
Cleanliness = 1
Privacy = 2
Facilities = 2
Overall Rating = 1
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Bryant Denny Stadium -
South End Zone at the Student Section Entrance
(Tuscaloosa, AL)
Too much beer the night before
the game. I told my date I was going to get a
hot dog, and when she asked why it took so long
I said the line was long! (submitted
by CQ Reader)
UserFriendliness: 1
Cleanliness: 0
Privacy: 0
Facilities: 0
OverallScore: 1
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Ten Brook Tavern (Arnold,
MO)
It was so dirty I pooped
in the holding tank.
(submitted by CQ Reader)
UserFriendliness: 1
Cleanliness: 0
Privacy: 5
Facilities: 1
OverallScore: 0
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Route 13/250 (Fitchville,
OH)
Unbelievable. It was a glorified
outhouse. I only used it because I ate some bad
broccoli. No lock on the door and it was basically
a toilet seat over a hole of shit.
(submitted by CQ Reader)
UserFriendliness: 1
Cleanliness: 2
Privacy: 0
Facilities: 0
OverallScore: 1
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Beacon Hill Tavern (Summit,
NJ)
This is a very cramped crapper.
And it's the only crapper for 50+ men that could
be in the bar/retaurant at a given time. There
is a lock on the door, so you don't have to worry
about intruders. But long lines easily form with
in minutes, so you don't want to run into a jam
and have to resort to using this most cramped
of crappers. If you feel like you might have a
stomach problem, I advise getting off your bar
stool and start heading towards a restaurant around
the corner called "The Office".
(submitted by CQ Reader)
UserFriendliness: 1
Cleanliness: 3
Privacy: 0
Facilities: 3
OverallScore: 2
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Gunn High School (Palo
Alto, CA)
I had to go to the restroom
during one of my classes and the closest restroom
was in a portable. They featured classic Crane
fixtures, but there was a horrid smell! And sometimes,
the toilets would not be flushed! Only go here
if you ABSOLUTELY need to!
(submitted by CQ Reader)
UserFriendliness: 1
Cleanliness: 1
Privacy: 3
Facilities: 1
OverallScore: 1
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Home Depot (Webster, TX)
Unfortunatly the only way
to keep this place clean with their caliber of
customers, is a complete cleanout every 15 minutes.
I feel sorry for the poor bastards that work there!
(submitted by CQ Reader)
UserFriendliness: 2
Cleanliness: 1
Privacy: 3
Facilities: 3
OverallScore: 1
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Dillards Wolfchase Customer
Svc (Memphis, TN)
Possibly the nicest public
Crapper in Memphis. Definitely one of the cleanest
I've used! (submitted
by CQ Reader)
UserFriendliness: 3
Cleanliness: 4
Privacy: 4
Facilities: 3
OverallScore: 4
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city=Riverton, Kansas
country=USA
location=Quick stop-only one in town
cleanliness=5
privacy=5
userfriendliness=4
overallscore=4
comments=Surgically clean restroom
city=Gainesville, Georgia
country=USA
location=Ryan's
cleanliness=0
privacy=1
userfriendliness=0
overallscore=0
comments=Disgusting. No toilet paper ever, urine, feces, and blood
on each and every one of the toilets, not to mention the floor.
Obviously the janitorial staff there doesn't realise the inconvenience
of a nasty crapper.
city=Mahomet, Illinois
country=USA
location=Handicaped Restroom Next To Orange
Gym in Junior High
cleanliness=4
privacy=5
userfriendliness=4
overallscore=5
comments=Wonderful before bball practice
>city=Valencia (Los Angeles)
CA
>country=USA
>location=Six Flags Magic Mountain
>cleanliness=1
>privacy=1
>userfriendliness=1
>overallscore=1
>comments=First off I'd like to vent. I paid $48.00 just to get
in my sorry butt in the door at Magic Mountain. Meanwhile there were
at least 100,000 snot-nosed little gang-bangers that were getting
in for five bucks and an empty Pepsi can. Anyhow, after signing over
the mortgage to these jerk-offs I was directed to pass through a security
checkpoint. I've had lap dances that were less intimate. But enough
of that... on to the crapper story.
Once inside the gate I felt the urge, so I headed
(no pun intended) to the "Guest Relations" building expecting
they would have better than average accommodations. What I found
was a single American Standard in a room with
no working door lock. After asking the clown at the desk what had
died in there, I left for more private pastures. Navigating through
a sea of sweaty, snarling, tattooed, parolees (and that was just
the women) I spotted The
Panda Palace.
Assuming this overpriced theme restaurant would not
be a favorite of the current clientele, I ducked inside. The front
door didn't have time to hit me in the ass before I was immediately
greeted by a 400 pound female reincarnation of Buddha. "Pweeze
shir, hugh need wait here for hostess" she said blocking my
way with her ample girth. I tried to explain that I just needed
to use the bathroom. "No, no, NO, must sit and you buy food
here to use bafrhum, wait for hotess", she blurted in bwoken
English. As I was turning to leave, this land orca was distracted
by activity in the kitchen(an escaping cat perhaps), so I slipped
by her and made a B-line to the back.
Having a choice between door #1 (the panda wearing
pants) or door #2 (the panda wearing a dress) I went for the logical
choice. Lunging at the handle I felt a painful tearing sensation
in my rotator cuff as the dead bolt held firm. (I would later find
out that this is one of very few things that actually work at Magic
Mountain) I was about to try door #2 when a couple of twelve-year
old girls from the short bus beat me to the punch. Leaving me no
choice, I waited for the inconsiderate moron in possession of the
water closet to stop choking his chicken (or whatever he was doing
in there) and unlock the friggen door.
Suddenly, I was spotted by Shamoo-san, who was trotting
in my direction grunting something. Feeling I was about to end up
in the Szechwan beef, I made a few moves I learned in high school
football and was able to zigzag around her without any further interaction.
Once outside, and still experiencing the feeling of a bowling ball
bouncing on my virgin sphincter, I decided to head for the nearest
facility available to the general population of cretins. Most of
the signage at Magic Mountain consists of some sort of primitive
scribbling with magic markers. Feeling that I had just been let
off a tour bus in the wrong section of Tijuana, I continued searching
through the crowd and eventually spotted what I believed to be a
sign indicating a men's room (it was clearly marked on the door
as "East Side Boyz").
Entering rapidly, I headed for an empty stall avoiding
any eye contact with any of the ten or so homeboys standing in front
of the broken mirror. They didn't notice me, seeming to be preoccupied
with slicking back their hair with industrial grease. This vile
stuff was most likely pilfered from the bucket of lube they use
on the roller coaster tracks. Then suddenly my faith in a supreme
entity was restored when I found the door lock to work and only
a few sprinkles of piss on the otherwise usable seat.
Grabbing a handful of Protectos (remember, first
pull up, then jerk off) I sat down to relieve myself of last nights
clam bake. I had been so focused on finding a sanctuary for my bulging
bowels that I had failed to fully appreciate the wretched aroma.
Thankfully, this was short lived as a new group of homeboys arrived
and the smell of marijuana soon filled the room. Not only did this
mask the smell of several tons of digested tacos left behind by
the previous occupants, my eyeballs suddenly stopped bleeding. So,
after a taking a few deep breaths, I was able to relax enough to
give birth to a healthy five pound six ounce baby turd.
After a wipe down with some paper so thin they claim
250,000 sheets per rolls, my task was complete. That is until three
hours later when I had to crap again.....
city=Newton
Stewart, Galloway
country=Scotland
location=Car park next to Safeway supermarket
cleanliness=5
privacy=2
userfriendliness=4
overallscore=4
comments=Seems to have a team of full time attendants who take great
pride in shining the metal bowls, and every other fitting. So clean
I thought it had only just been opened. However the attendants did
hover outside the stall, perhaps checking that I wasn't making work
for them. Overall a superb toilet, and well worth a visit.
(From
CQ Reader Matthew)
city=Disneyland
country=LA
location=Disneyland
cleanliness=1
privacy=0
userfriendliness=0
overallscore=1
comments=The only good thing I can say about crapping at Disneyland
was at least they had paper in the stalls. Even though they vented
the french fry exhaust into the room, it was still not enough to
overcome the stench. However, I do suspect this did contribute to
the sticky walls. A huge amount of trafic, little kids looking under
the stall door, and the song It's a Small World playing in the background.
I was unable to complete my task and gave serious thought to hopping
off the Jungle Boat ride and finishing up behind a bush.
Lambda Chi
Alpha Fraternity
Flint, MI USA uuummm, near a great lake?
User Friendliness = 2
Cleanliness = 2
Privacy = 3
Facilities = 3
Overall Rating = 2.5
I had the joy
of using this toilet daily while I was visitng the guy who was my
boyfriend at the time. The stalls themselves were clean but the
fine and ecclectic magazine collection, ranging from popular mechanics
to the most hard core porn mag you can imagine left something to
be desired. The cold tile floor was a delightful wake up call on
the 10 degree mornings. But I must admit they earned many bonus
points by having a group shower with a glass door right next to
the stalls...
city=Portland,
ME.
country=U.S.A.
location=Double Tree Hotel
cleanliness=3
privacy=3
userfriendliness=4
overallscore=4
comments=Always warm seats!
Newbury Park (Ilford, UK)
city=Ilford
country=U.K.
location=Newbury Park
cleanliness=
privacy=
userfriendliness=
overallscore=
comments=
TMC Comments: Nice review. It is comforting just
to know that they have toilets in Liford. Crazy Limeys.
city=Blackpool
country=England
location=Public Restrooms
cleanliness=0
privacy=1
userfriendliness=0
overallscore=1
comments=Awful toilets - Crap all over the seats and piss everywhere.
Dark, dingy and smelly. I think it was rated the worst toilet in
England on a TV show.
city=Ayelsbury
country=England, UK
location=Frias Sqaure
cleanliness=4
privacy=3
userfriendliness=5
overallscore=9
comments=Very good! u c the odd poop but thats want u wanna c, there
are
holes in the stalls, but its cleaned every 45 minutes.
city=yateley
country=england
location=toilet at blackbushe market
cleanliness=0
privacy=0
userfriendliness=0
overallscore=0
comments=it was really hard 2 crap with so many people watching
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