Welcome to our nation's Crapital. The Mystery Crapper
went to see how our politicians go and to make sure that W won't
have any trouble. Check out the reviews below and go in peace.
The White House
I actually was able to use the facilities in the
West Wing of the White House during a visit a
few years back. The same facilities that W uses!
Well, it was top notch.
The Lincoln Memorial
Down and to the left of Honest Abe's pooper is
a fine crapper that services a number of memorials.
Provides a monumental crapping experience.
The Library of Congress
Now this crapper sets a high standard for other
public buildings in Washington. Very bright and
clean, make sure to take along a book and spend
some quality time. Truly a marble throne!
One of many various Smithsonians
we reviewed. This stall even came complete with
reading material. This raised their User Friendliness
score but lowered their Cleanliness score?? Huh?
Educational component of signage
bumps up Facilities score. What else can we say,
it's a place to put your poop.
Smithsonian - Natural History
Museum
This is a decent place to unload any unwanted
baggage while walking the Mall. Basic institutional
crapper. Boring doesn't rate high with us but
it works.
Smithsonian - Arts &
Industries Museum
This potty has a padded seat, demonstrating the
art and industry of the toilet manufacturers of
America. Nice tile pattern and stall space. Great
for handicrapping.
Smithsonian - Hirshorn
Museum
A little more elegant than the other Smithsonian
Institutions, this facility is in keeping with
the modern art theme of the museum. Complete with
Sculpture Garden.
Smithsonian - Castle Information
Center
Completed in 1855, the Castle houses many administrative
offices and the Information Center. A good place
to get oriented to crapping Smithsonian style.
Reagan Nation Airport
This toilet is a disgrace considering that it
is housed in an airport named for America's greatest
president. Toilet wouldn't flush as indicated
by the remains shown in photo. Like most airports,
this toilet will do in a pinch, especially after
some tasty airline food.
The Guards Restaurant
Dark and small just like a rabbit's turds, this
little crapper made us cramped in space and in
style. Only one stall in basement atmosphere.
The Lathan Hotel (Georgetown)
Smelled really nice but hot as hell was the comment
for this ritzy crapper. Multiple stalls and decent
facilities. For some reason this baby was about
100 degrees??? Low user friendliness due to heat
wave.
Starbucks (Georgetown)
This is like crapping in the middle of the Capitol
Rotunda. The tiny porcelain vestibule you see
is located in a giant room. Privacy is good though
as only one person at a time is the rule. Good
handicrapping access. Just didn''t feel homey
without the stall to keep you company. Nice overall
though despite cavernous feeling.
Moby Dick House of Kebab
This little pooper is situated right next to tables
in the main dining room so everybody knows when
you pass a Moby Dick Kebab. And they can smell
it too if the breeze coming off the Potomac is
blowing in the right direction. For emergencies
only. Food is highly rated though so take your
chances.
Georgetown Mall
Nice, clean, big. What more do you need to know.
If you are shopping and have to crap, you are
in good hands. Bathrooms conveniently located
upstairs and downstairs.
